top of page

Pairing Today

Relation-Ship Model




Models and Metaphors help us make meaning of complex, hard to define concepts.


Perhaps the most difficult of all concepts to grasp and truly understand, are what I consider the two biggest:



I propose this general, holistic model and metaphor to understand LIFE and LOVE:




LOVE is an adventurous VOYAGE upon the SEA of LIFE. A Voyage that is really about RELATION-SHIP.


Notice the hyphen mark between RELATION and SHIP. This is the main metaphor for understanding Life as an Adventure and Voyage of Love.


Each person can be considered metaphorically as a SHIP.


You, a PERSON, are a "LIFE SHIP".


That is, YOU, as a BODY and MIND can be understood as a SHIP that is LAUNCHED (BORN) upon the SEA of LIFE and that continues its voyage undergoing SHIP WRECKS and even SINKINGS--until you SINK for the final time (DEATH).


Now, let's define and explain your LIFE SHIP.


It has 4 Components or PARTS that make up the WHOLE that is YOU.


1. The SHIP itself is your BODY.


2. The DRIVING FORCE--Wind or Motor--is SELFISH GENES SEX. By this I mean ALL human interactions are driven, motivated by, the physical urgings of the Male and Female to Mate which on a deeper level is driven by Genes.


3. Your PILOT, the one who STEERS and decides where your SHIP should go, is your MIND which is a non-physical spontaneous order that emerges from the complex interactions of your Body/Brain.


4. Your DIRECTING MECHANISM--the Rudder or Steering Wheel--that your Mind uses to get you to where you want to go, is REASON.


This is the essential METAPHOR of your LIFE SHIP.


Your LIFE SHIP is now upon the SEA of LIFE, sailing or motoring away.


The GREAT ADVENTURE is to experience RELATION-SHIPS which can lead to LOVE.


There are 2 kinds of RELATION-SHIPS to be understood in the Great Adventure and Voyage of Love.


1. INTRA-PERSONAL, to understand your own LIFE SHIP.


2.  INTER-PERSONAL, to understand other LIFE SHIPS.


You as a LIFE SHIP will be the Answers to these 6 Questions:


1. WHAT you are carrying in your SHIP which will turn out to be your


2. WHO, your Identity, What you most Value and Act upon


3. WHERE you are going, your Purpose, Goal, central Meaning of Life


4. HOW you are trying to get to your Where, which in this Model is the Great Adventure of Love upon the Sea of Life, which is Relationships


5. WHY you are Adventuring, your explanation and justification for doing what you are doing


6. WHEN you must do your first 5--that is the Time between your Birth and Death with specific points of time between beginning and end


The Answers you GIVE and LIVE as LOVE will define WHO YOU ARE.



PAIRING TODAY is the WAY to embark upon the GREAT ADVENTURE and VOYAGE of LIFE and LOVE to make more probable an Outcome that will make You and Others Happy. It is a Choice of Conscious Awareness as Responsible Freedom.


Now, to explain the 2 KINDS of ADVENTURES of RELATION SHIPS you can EXPERIENCE and EXPERIMENT with as your LIFE SHIP cruises the SEA of LIFE seeking LOVE.




You choose to remain separate in your LIFE SHIP and meet and possibly mate with another LIFE SHIP who also remains separate in his or her LIFE SHIP. In this kind of Adventure, you consider your independence as the most important thing. This may be a Temporary or Permanent Relationship. You may meet and stay together with another LIFE SHIP for any period of time. You may part forever. You may part and then come back later and remain friends and/or lovers.


You are NOT COMMITTED to that other in an EXCLUSIVE WAY. You are open to finding a new LIFE SHIPS.


The formula is: 1 + 1 = 2.




You choose not to remain separate in your LIFE SHIP and desire to meet and mate with another LIFE SHIP and to place both of your separate LIFE SHIPS onto ONE PARTNER SHIP that carries both LIFE SHIPS towards a common WHERE--Purpose, Goal, Meaning you both share, care for and value.


Your RELATION SHIP is more important, of greater value, than either of your separate LIFE SHIPS. The 3rd entity is your shared INTERDEPENDENT RELATION SHIP. This begins as only a Permanent Relationship--whether a legal marriage or a common law coupling. But the reality is--depending on the nation/culture--up to 50% of RELATION SHIPs are "Sunk". The LIFE SHIPS on the RELATION SHIP go back to their separate cruising. That is, divorce or permanent separation takes place.


The saying "The Whole is more than the sum of its Parts" applies.  Here the formula is: 1 + 1 = 3.



Pairing Today Relationship Education Service offers an "At Sea Dry Doc Re-Pairing Ship" to "Re-Pair" those Life Ships as Friend Ships or Partner Ships. As well, Jack offers a personal therapy "Hospital Ship" for helping to heal those "Broken Hearts"



The Voyage by Christy Moore
Life is an ocean and love is a boat
In troubled water that keeps us afloat
When we started the voyage, there was just me and you
Now gathered round us, we have our own crew
Together we're in this relationship
We built it with care to last the whole trip
Our true destination's not marked on any charts
We're navigating to the shores of the heart






1. Your Self -- Intra-Personal

2. Others -- Inter-Personal

Jack's Therapeutic Hospital Ship

1. Intra-Personal - Your LIFE SHIP

2. Inter-Personal - Other LIFE SHIPs



Jack's Floating Dry Dock Ship

Now further extending the Model and Metaphor here are various SHIPS that might represent your Personality at its current stage of development. Have fun choosing! Perhaps you will be a hybrid? Try to identify one that most accurately sums Who You Are as your LIFE SHIP.

Katharine's LIFE SHIP

Her name Katharine in Nautical Signal Flags. Katharine comes from the Greek katharos "pure, clear of dirt, clean, spotless; open, free; clear of shame or guilt; purified" 

see catharsis"to purify, purge" 

Katharine and Jack, Brisbane, Australia,1993

bottom of page